Confused donkey chews carrot-colored McLaren

Animals and cars really don’t mix. Goats, longing for their ancestral mountain homes, like to clamber onto car hoods and roofs. Cats make the fateful decision of snuggling up against a warm radiator — and fan blades — on a cold winter day. Deer just stand there, you know, in the headlights, awaiting an outcome that’s bad for everybody. And then there’s Vitus, the hungry donkey, whose idea of fine dining is a $300,000 McLaren. Or a 10-cent carrot. Not sure which.

The ass — hey, that’s just what he’s called — landed his owner in court in Giessen, Germany, because he chomped on the supercar.

Markus Zahn left his car parked next to Vitus’ paddock last September. When he returned, Vitus decided to tuck in.

“I looked into the rear-view mirror and suddenly saw a pair of fluffy ears! And then I heard a strange sound,” he told German newspaper Bild. “The sound came from a donkey, who was gnawing at my fender.

“The donkey probably thought the car was a carrot on wheels. I’m not mad at him.”

For the record, Zahn’s McLaren 650S Spider is Elite Volcano Orange, not McLaren Orange or Tarocco Orange. And for the record, we have no idea if donkeys can even see in color. And even if so, that’s where the resemblance to a carrot ends.

Vitus caused about $35,000 worth of damage. The McLaren dealer covered most of the cost of the repair, but the situation wound up in court when an insurance company refused to pay the remaining $7,000 bill, claiming Zahn should have chosen a better parking spot.

The court on Thursday sided with Zahn, ruling Vitus’ owner liable.

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